Gertrude: Hello, this is Gertrude, thanks for calling today. Do you need to make an appointment?
Me: Hello Gertrude, I need to make an appointment to be seen by any doctor as late in the day as possible.
Gertrude: Who is your primary doctor?
Me: I normally see Dr. Smith. But it doesn't matter who I see today, just as long as it's later in the day. My husband is deployed overseas and no one can watch my children until later this afternoon or early evening.
Gertrude: Ok, how about 7:15 tonight? That way your husband will have plenty of time to get home and you can swap roles.
Me: (Trying to stay calm and not call her an idiot) No, I don't think he'll be home this evening since he's deployed. Overseas.
I'm really hoping for her sake that this was just an "off moment" and that she isn't really THAT lacking in the listening department.